Know Your Ghoster:
While all professional ghosters share some common attributes, there are some differences you should be aware of if you encounter one between 9 to 5.
In order to best know how to handle your business banshee, we at BustGhosters put together a list of the most common, specialized specters.
beware OF…
The Casper (aka The Friendly Ghoster)
Known to haunt the floors of trade shows and industry mixers, The Casper may appear to be a friend from first fist bump but you will soon learn their IRL request to “connect” and “build” will only get you their digital newsletter.
Traits Include:
Inspirational Quote in Signature
Speaks in Platitudes
Name Dropper
GUARD AGAINST…
The Six Sense or “ I CC Dead People”
A rare occurrence in the ghosting world where the ghosted finds out that they are someone else’s ghoster. Being identified as a Six Sense is not a death sentence but should remind you to always treat (and respond to) your ghosters how you would like to be treated.
Traits Include:
Lack of Self Awareness
Narcissism
Haley Joel Osment
heed…
The Zombie
At first glance this ghost seems like one of us but beware, if given the opportunity, they will quickly suck the time and brain power from your life via their unrealistic requests and unresponsive ways. When the zombie does respond, it will most likely be months later in a whole new e-mail thread, oblivious to any previous dealings.
Traits Include:
Taking Undeserved Credit
Requests Free Work
No Brains
be wary of…
The Cool Ghoul
When reaching out to a new or “cold” contact, you might experience the thoughtless ways of a Cool Ghoul. While most living beings are able to combat cold outreach with a “not interested” or “check in later” response, a Cool Ghoul does not have this same vernacular skill set. Do note, the more a Cool Ghoul is contacted, the colder they become.
Traits Include:
Self Important
Consistently OOO
Ice Cold Disposition
watch for The…
Ghoster of Business Past
You may have once called this ghoster an associate, even mentor or boss, yet now they are unable to respond to even the friendliest check-in. Don’t be fooled by their lively social media presence because this ghoster is definitely dead to you.
Traits Include:
Selfishness
Throwing Under Buses
Too Many Hashtags
look out for…
The Silent But Deadly
The reason why this ghoster hasn’t responded to your multiple outreach attempts is because they actually died 3 months ago. Out of respect to the deceased, please don’t try contacting this one more than once.
Traits Include:
Angry Response from Widow
Obituary
Memorial Donation Request
tread lightly on…
The Proposalgeist
This evil being will send out an RFP, often with an ungodly turnaround time, dismal budget and multiple buzz words. Yet, once you commit and submit to the Proposalgeist they vanish, with not an inkling of feedback or follow-up, never to be heard from again…or until their next pitch.
Traits Include:
Idea Theft
Perpetually Stuck in a Meeting
Answering Questions with Questions
NEVER TRUST…
The Phantom Payment
Able to take human form during the entirety of a project, often providing unclear feedback and changing requests along the way, The Phantom Payment will then disappear once the job is complete and restitution is due. Expense reports and final invoices are no match for this ghoster as they duck and dodge all requests for reimbursement, often relying on their signature, haunting phrase of “The Check Is In the Mail…”
Traits Include:
No Accountability
No Accounting Department
Multiple LLCs
keep an eye out for…
The Slimer
This elusive specter will contact you with a trial run opportunity, promising steady freelance work if you pass the test. You submit your work, with fingers crossed, only to never hear from them again. On top of that, your email inbox suddenly gets flooded with spam. You’ve been Slimed.
Traits Include:
False Promises
Disingenuous
No Shame
HIDE YOUR LOVED ONES, IT’S…
The Hire-ditary
Common in the world of recruiting and HR, this ghoster may be the most baffling of them all. The Hire-ditary will do all they can to make you believe they are the ideal candidate for the job, thoughtful and responsive, maybe even signing off on an employment agreement. Yet when the first day comes around, they are nowhere to be found, leaving both their new employer and job referrer in the lurch.
Traits Include:
Burning Bridges
Blinding Obliviousness
Memento Level Amnesia